To Summer 2011

It's been great so far. I'm loaded with activities and I'm driving a car now. There have been some problems (like broken locks, gig schedules, band stuff, etc.), but I can handle them.

I'm glad that I get to start the summer without my braces. It's a great feeling having been free from a teeth-fence thing. Hahaha.

I prepared lots of movies to watch over the summer like The House Bunny, Rashomon, District 13 Ultimatum, Life of Brian, Zyzzyx Road, and Mystery Men. I am also trying to completely listen to the full discography of Foo Fighters.

The duration of this summer (compared to past summers) is that I only have 2 weeks to enjoy it and then I go back to college and get back to work on projects and papers. I want to make these 2 weeks of summer the best that it can be so that when I get back to college, my mind is ready to take in information.

One last thing to make my summer complete? Bike riding. I sure miss that.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy your day.

Carpe Diem

If you feel like I'm avoiding you...

I'm not, buddy...

I want you to learn how to become more independent. To become a stronger person in the future.

I'm just assuming this is what's going on in your head. I hope that I'm wrong.

Don't ever think of me as elusive. I'm here and you're there. I'm not yet ready to start anything yet, but if you need me I'll just be around. Most of the time.

Be stronger. A few more days and we'll be okay. I think.

Again, I'm just assuming this is what's going in your head buddy.

Please don't get offended if you find out and read this.

What's the point in looking for something that always gets away from me?

Recently, I noticed that every time I am in need of something, it's the thing I lose. Not only in material objects, but also the people I need at specific moments.

I recently had a fight with a friend and now I regret how shallow my thoughts were during the fight. I'm not good enough for the friendship she gives. I am too much of an opposite for her. She deserves better, as the cliché goes "It's not you, it's me."

The moment I lose her, I miss her. I miss how she starts every conversation, how she fakes a smile even when I know that she is in pain inside, how she treats me like I'm something really important... Why did I create selfish and shallow thoughts? I should have known better not to.

I'm not yet ready to apologize. I think an apology at this point is useless. All I can say is that I'll start things again with her eventually.

Yes, I believe I was hoping for something more than friends. But is it worth it? After all the trouble I caused, after all the things I could not do, after all the things I spoke, and after all the time I spent?

Now I'm in pain, lost, and I don't know who to approach. With her, I lose my problems. I strive to become someone successful, but she's even more successful than I. I can't do anything impressive as she is more knowledgeable than I am.

At this point, I don't know how I am able to clearly point out what's in my head. It's a mix of peanuts, salted and dry.

I should have known better. I should have stopped at the start.

I'm sorry. Let it be. Please forgive me.

I'm just scared, I'm unsure of everything else in the world. Except, of course, her. I was always sure I'm on good ground, standing with my two legs, feeling satisfied and calm with her.

Why do I even bother break something amazing like her friendship?

I'm not even sure how the title fits the message I'm trying to convey, but it is something that floats around my messed up mind.

Please give me time and I will be fine.

The Hug

Sometimes it’s the only thing that can make you feel sane. It gives off a certain feeling that warms and caress’ the torn emotion dwelling inside of you that corrupts even your beliefs. The simple joy of having assurance that someone is willing to stay, to be there for you, to care for you and you can witness the expression of Selfless love.

Hello Old Friend.

It's been a year since I last touched this blog. I missed it and the feeling of freedom with words.

I'm now in college and enjoying it to the fullest, while studying to the max. I gained lots of new friends and wisdom.

I got into two bands and a church choir this year. I'm still single, but that's not a problem.

I've been occupied with parties, fairs, church, and different kinds of events. Rarely do I have time to reflect on my achievements and losses.

I don't have much to say. I used to write long passages in the past. At this moment, things are just different.

But the future is still unknown, so I'll live every moment like it's last.

Carpe Diem.

Happy Valentines Everyone

Blogging is good for the soul (in my case, at least)

I don't usually say things out loud with company. So all my views and opinions are expressed in blogs. I have three blogs, one of which is this one (doysoap.blogspot.com), second is my multiply blog (doysoap.multiply.com) and third is a values education blog for school on blogger as well.

Blogging feels like freedom. I have the freedom to express and say anything that I have in mind without anything stopping the thought from going out.

I was quite shocked to find a few of my friends read my blog, but I guess I shouldn't because the purpose of making blogs is for anyone online to see.

I like blogging, it makes me feel better about things. I express better through typing sometimes. I have blogged in the past and had quite an addiction to it. Blogging, for me, is better than what I do in facebook.

About facebook, I rarely use it. I used to be a facebook addict until I realize that facebook distracts me from what life is. Life is more than viewing what others do and games. I saw a rebirth of an old love, blogging. From my facebook disease, I gained the cure from this.

Expression of thoughts is more helpful than games that distract you from other thoughts. I've decided that maybe around next week (the week before Christmas, YEY!) I'll be deactivating my facebook account for good. It's still an idea waiting for something to happen. If nothing is able to make me change my mind, then I'll wave goodbye to facebook and its cigarette like addiction.

I'm free when blogging, I'm a better person after I post each entry. I learn and see things better after posting. Hopefully I can pass this on with you, the readers, as I unfold my mind little by little with my blog.

Thanks for reading. :)
Christmas is coming so I'll say this now before its too late, MERRY CHRISTMAS! :)

What Now?

I'm right now in my room at 12:33 am reminiscing on the past. I've got to say, it had been quite a journey.

Not a journey well spent, but nonetheless a good journey it has been.

I've thought about what life has to offer before anyone had introduced it to me. I've thought of existentialism before it was even thought. What I don't understand is, I can't get the answers to my questions of "What am I living for?" "Why am I here?" "Whats my purpose?"

I'm still young yes, but my mind feels its like in its 20's already. I'm affected largely by the question of "Is it worth it?" for everything that I have done and may be doing in the future.

I am at a loss of words.

Even if that's the case, I should try and find these things out on my own. I can only live once right? So why not live it to the max? I've tried to live it to the max, but life gave too many restrictions and punches to me, so how do I keep on running the race of time and life?

I've experienced much and there's few to deal with more. College is one, girls are two, life is three, and me is four. Why place me as the last? Well, living a self-less life is a priority for my being. I live for not me, but for everbody. I do not live a life made up of only me, I live it with the people who know me.

Someday I will find my place and be content. Someday I'll be truly happy. Someday I'll live my life for me. Someday, how long will you be?

..

(thanks for reading)