What Now?

I'm right now in my room at 12:33 am reminiscing on the past. I've got to say, it had been quite a journey.

Not a journey well spent, but nonetheless a good journey it has been.

I've thought about what life has to offer before anyone had introduced it to me. I've thought of existentialism before it was even thought. What I don't understand is, I can't get the answers to my questions of "What am I living for?" "Why am I here?" "Whats my purpose?"

I'm still young yes, but my mind feels its like in its 20's already. I'm affected largely by the question of "Is it worth it?" for everything that I have done and may be doing in the future.

I am at a loss of words.

Even if that's the case, I should try and find these things out on my own. I can only live once right? So why not live it to the max? I've tried to live it to the max, but life gave too many restrictions and punches to me, so how do I keep on running the race of time and life?

I've experienced much and there's few to deal with more. College is one, girls are two, life is three, and me is four. Why place me as the last? Well, living a self-less life is a priority for my being. I live for not me, but for everbody. I do not live a life made up of only me, I live it with the people who know me.

Someday I will find my place and be content. Someday I'll be truly happy. Someday I'll live my life for me. Someday, how long will you be?

..

(thanks for reading)